Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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