Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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