Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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