I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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