Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
