i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
