I accidentally had phone sex last night
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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