It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize