after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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