We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
