Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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