You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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