Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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