If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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