the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
