I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
