i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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