am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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