Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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