Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
