He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
