um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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