Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
