I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
