If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
