Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
