We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
