dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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