I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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