Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
