On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
