I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Randomize
