I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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