He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
