I'm really into asian looking animals
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
