they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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