when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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