Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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