So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
