That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
