i already hear my dad disowning me
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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