dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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