Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
worst night to have a conscience
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
