Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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