I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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