Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
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