Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize