Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
