I cockslap morals
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
