So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize