can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
