Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Randomize
