So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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