i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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