I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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