haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
