Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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