every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Randomize
