i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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