Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
