It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Green mimosas i think yes
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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