direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
