I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
